you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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