well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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