check it out our google latitudes are spooning
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
