New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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