Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
