What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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