; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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