You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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