Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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