Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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