3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
