My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
