If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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