I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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