He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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