i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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