you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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