Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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