A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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