I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
