Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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