He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
