im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
