she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
