It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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