So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
