how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shitshow foam night was such a success
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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