Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
