Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
