I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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