so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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