How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
