In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
