so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize