You made me cry and you don't even care
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
