I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize