So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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