i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
