So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
my liver is dry heaving
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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