So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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