you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
