Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We left the knife in your bed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize