Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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