youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
