Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
