That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Farmville is her only friend.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
