Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
