My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
being pregnant is like rehab
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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