if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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