I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
