Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize