After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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