My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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