Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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