I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
