New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
