It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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